[New-Poetry] oh my oh my, Can poetry have greatness?

[Anny Ballardini]

This interpretation can be applied and I would praise it if a student
suggested it. On the other hand, isn't it strong enough as an
anthropomorphization of the sheep - their cry is overwhelming? Those who had
a pet know to what degree an animal can feel,
veganly yours,

Anny

On Fri, Feb 27, 2009 at 3:20 AM, <jforjames at aol.com> wrote:

> The poem is certainly not about human cargo per se, it's sheep all the way.
> The notion (possible reading) that I suggested was
> this: "Was the poet, in speaking about the sheep in transit across the
> Atlantic, and openly anthropomorphizing their shipboard
> distress, inviting the reader to to recall the many slave ships laden with
> human cargo (humans in cattle boats, so to speak) crying
> out so pitifully,.that the reader's mind might imagine a young lad who
> going to sea for first time on a slaver might turn down a
> great sum to make a second passage in such woeful company.
> I'd like to believe this 'shadow narrative' is present in Davies' poem.
> Certainly there's no proof in the poem itself. I'm willing
> to say it's about bleating sheep driving a poor young seaman out of the
> business. That's a s/light poem; one with no chance for excellence
> no matter how well rendered.
> Finnegan
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Judy Prince <jbalizsprince at googlemail.com>
> Sent: Thu, 26 Feb 2009 8:13 pm
> Subject: Re: [New-Poetry] oh my oh my, Can poetry have greatness?
>
> Here's my evaluation of SHEEP using Bob's latest revised WEPD checklist.
>  First, the poem, then Bob's checklist, and finally my brief evaluation.
>
> 2009/2/25 TheOldMole <Opus40-01 at opus40.org>
>
>> OK, here's one.
>>
>> SHEEP
>>
>> When I was once in Baltimore,
>> A man came up to me and cried,
>> ‘Come, I have eighteen hundred sheep,
>> And we sail on Tuesday’s tide.
>>
>> ‘If you will sail with me, young man,
>> I'll pay you fifty shillings down;
>> These eighteen hundred sheep I take
>> >From Baltimore to Glasgow town.’
>>
>> He paid me fifty shillings down,
>> I sailed with eighteen hundred sheep;
>> We soon had cleared the harbour’s mouth,
>> We soon were in the salt sea deep.
>>
>> The first night we were out at sea,
>> Those sheep were quiet in their mind;
>> The second night they cried with fear –
>> They smelt no pastures in the wind.
>>
>> They sniffed, poor things, for their green fields,
>> They cried so loud I could not sleep:
>> For fifty thousand shillings down
>> I would not sail again with sheep.
>>
>> W. H. Davies
>>
> -----------
>
> Bob's latest revised WEPD [What Excellent Poems Do, or What an Excellent
> Poem Does] checklist:
>
>  (1) provides a passage into something importantly true or centrally
> beautiful, if not both; (2) is clear, but not easily clear, nor ever finally
> fully clear; (3) has a Unifying Principle, or some meaning or image or the
> like which pulls its elements reasonably close20together; (4) contains few
> or no superfluous words or other matter; (5) boasts some constituent of
> substance that few or no other poems have such as uncommon diction, grammar,
> expressive modality (e.g., mathematics,  visual art, and imagery; (6) avoids
> excessive use of dead language, imagery, sentiment, ideation, technique, and
> form.
>
>  ------------------------
> My evaluation:
>
>  1)  If it's about sheep, I've found nothing importantly true or centrally
> beautiful.  If it's about human cargo as some NPers have suggested, the
> young man's sensitivity to their condition in the penultimate stanza and
> first half of the final stanza is at major odds with his drone-dull
> elsewhere attitude, and that disunity split-shatters it as effective social
> commentary.  ZERO
> 2)  It is wordly clear, tho apparently [see #1 above] not interpretatively
>  clear.  ZERO
> 3)  Whether sheep or human cargo:  2 points above zero for the simple story
> told
> 4)  Repeating "eighteen hundred sheep" in five quatrains earns Davies' a
> ZERO
> 5)  Apart from "were quiet in their mind" and "[T]hey smelt no pastures in
> the wind", no unusual or fresh diction or imagery.  1 point above zero
> 6)  [See #5 above]  1 point above zero
>
>  Davies seemed more concerned with accommodating rhyming than with making
> (a) an importantly true statement or beauty, or (b) telling a simple story
> in fresh imagery.  SHEEP deserve better.
>
>  Judy
>
>
>
>
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-- 
Anny Ballardini
http://annyballardini.blogspot.com/
http://www.fieralingue.it/modules.php?name=poetshome
http://www.moriapoetry.com/ebooks.html
I Tell You: One must still have chaos in one to give birth to a dancing
star!
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