[New-Poetry] from the Writer's Almanac

[Anny Ballardini]

It's my turn Bob (never trust a woman _they just gave on Beethoven.com: La donna e' mobile):
I like that line, all the s swinging through,

what I did not particularly like and would have left out is the very last line, 

cold, brown, twigs, dirty snow, dark flows, cracked open

are already over the top in describing what she tries to summarize in the last line.

  ----- Original Message ----- 
  From: Bob Grumman 
  To: NewPoetry: Contemporary Poetry News &Views 
  Sent: Wednesday, April 30, 2008 11:49 PM
  Subject: Re: [New-Poetry] from the Writer's Almanac




  Anny Ballardini wrote: 
    Poem: "April in Maine" by May Sarton, from Collected Poems: 1930-1993. © W.W. Norton & Company, 1992. Reprinted with permission. (buy now) 

    April in Maine 

    The days are cold and brown,
    Brown fields, no sign of green,
    Brown twigs, not even swelling,
    And dirty snow in the woods.

    But as the dark flows in
    The tree frogs begin
    Their shrill sweet singing,
    And we lie on our beds
    Through the ecstatic night,
    Wide awake, cracked open.

    There will be no going back.



  Nice poem, Anny.  I say that only because I've already gotten my daily disagreement with you out of the way.  I wonder, though, if anyone would agree with me that "Their shrill sweet singing" could have been dropped to the benefit of the poem.  It seems superfluous, and I personally don't like the near-rhyme of the instances of "ing" with "in."

  --Bob G.


     

    Anny Ballardini
    http://annyballardini.blogspot.com/
    http://www.fieralingue.it/modules.php?name=poetshome
    http://www.moriapoetry.com/ebooks.html
    I Tell You: One must still have chaos in one to give birth to a dancing star! 

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