[New-Poetry] Re: error

[Rsgwynn1 at cs.com]

In a message dated 5/7/2007 3:36:10 PM Central Daylight Time, 
bobgrumman at nut-n-but.net writes: 
> 
> I'm horrified by it.  It's so much better than any of my poems.  I love the, 
> 
> "as one would."  But it could be improved.  For example, I'd make the last 
> line, "volvo water water father water water father water water indigo 
> November."  (I'm actually serious.)
> 
> --Bob

I'd cut the "volvo."  It's just too much.   
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