[New-Poetry] A Poet Problem in NYC

[Anny Ballardini]

You terrible James! For a moment I thought it was true, that the New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygene (well it is thanks to the latter that I did give it a possibility) did publish something similar, way too much fiction these days in my head!
  ----- Original Message ----- 
  From: jforjames at aol.com 
  To: new-poetry at wiz.cath.vt.edu 
  Sent: Friday, December 28, 2007 8:00 PM
  Subject: [New-Poetry] A Poet Problem in NYC


  POET CONTROL FOR A BETTER CITY

  No one should have to live with poets. When citizens, business and government work together, poet infestations can be reduced to minimal levels. City agencies can't do it alone. Everyone has a part to play. Librarians and Bookstore Owners must guard their words—the essential food source for poets—in books that are poet-proof. People in the houses and apartments must do the same, and also ensure that they do not litter their yards or the street with book pages. 

  As the hallmark of its integrated poet management (IPM) approach, first and foremost, the Office of Poet Control Services seeks to educate coffeehouse owners and tavern keepers on the best ways to prevent poet infestations. When necessary, we will inspect properties with infestations and use our enforcement powers under the NYC Health Code to require property owners to clean their properties and eliminate conditions that lead to poets. As a last resort, the Office of Poet Control Services will issue a fine to the appropriate party, perform poet control services itself, and bill the property owner for the work completed.

  In summary, the Office employs the following strategies:

  Education & Outreach - we need your help!
  • Improve the public's awareness of the causes of poet infestations 
  • Develop partnerships with the community in eliminating conditions that lead to poet infestation 
  • Promote use of poet-resistant bookshelves and properly sealed caffeine containers in areas with poet infestations 

  Poet Control Measures
  • Improve sanitation to reduce word sources and conditions that lead to poet infestations 
  • Work closely with other agencies to ensure that all city-owned libraries are free of poet infestations and conditions that lead to them 
  • Target areas with large poet populations for increased inspections and, when appropriate, exterminations 
  • When coffeehouse owners fail to do so themselves, eliminate poet access points to these shops 
  • Exterminate, when appropriate, through the safe & strategic placement of poisonous word bait 

  Research & Evaluation
  • Measure the outcome of poet control activities to determine their usefulness 
  • Research the best practices for prevention and control of poet problems for implementation in NYC 
  • Continue to develop improvements in poet control measures that adhere to concepts of IPM to minimize the use of poeticides whenever possible. 
  • Expand use of technology, including the use of electronic maps, to improve response to poet infestation complaints.

  http://www.nyc.gov/html/doh/html/pest/pest.shtml


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