[New-Poetry] My Poetry Prize

[Anny Ballardini]

Oh my God, what a conFRImation Rob _Bob
no time to fritter in frivolous frogs

I am just about as thrilled as you can be
what kind of plea are U addressing me, 

should we Seidel up a couple of bucks
or Mole them down the underground

ribbon them on the Upper Eastonian East
or award 'em length to the Botsvanian Bess Tess
of the d'Urbersville? Hardly awake but still amazed

your never_flinching flickering fan 
                                        /to cool you down :-(

 
  ----- Original Message ----- 
  From: Bob Grumman 
  To: NewPoetry: Contemporary Poetry News &Views 
  Sent: Wednesday, December 13, 2006 10:40 PM
  Subject: Re: [New-Poetry] My Poetry Prize


  Ha, forget this talk about who the best American poet is.  It's me.  I just got the following confrimation:

  Robert,

  The Editors of The International Library of Poetry were thrilled to inform you that your poem was bestowed the prestigious Editor's Choice Award because of your artistic accomplishments and unique perspective--characteristics found in the most noteworthy poetic works. To further commemorate this prestigious achievement we have elected you to receive the 2006 Editor's Choice Published Poet Ribbon Award Pin"

  Can Seidel or even Mole say the same!!!

  I have a problem regarding it, though: it costs $19.95 plus shipping and handling, and I don't have that kind of money.  So I was wondering if everyone at New-Poetry could send me a dollar at 1708 Hayworth Road, Port Charlotte FL 33952.  I will use the money I get above what is required for the pin to have a photograph of me proudly displaying the pin sent to each person helping me out.

  Note: this was all the result of my investigating Poetry.com (I believe that's its name) on behalf of one of my blog's visitors who thought I knew what was going on in the poetry world and e.mailed me for my opinion of it.  I went to its webpage and read its daily poem.  The latter wasn't bad, so I thought the outfit might be genuinely out to help unpublished poets.  I wrote what I think is a pretty good poem on the spot and e.mailed it to them.

  I can't remember what happened to the poem.  It may well have been published as one of their daily poems.  I definitely got a positive e.mail about it.  I do know that the website revealed itself for the standard predator on would-be poets it was by getting all kinds of regular mail about my poem's being published in some anthology or another.  And now this.

  Not totally dishonest, I suppose, and no doubt for some people (one I know from my local writing group) getting a poem into a hardbound book called "The Best Poems of 2005" or something close to that, the book is worth the not super-exorbitant cost ($40 or so).  My writing club friend went ahead and bought a copy of such a book and it extremely pleased her--in spite of our gently telling her in advance what a con it was.  A benign swindle?  Another firend of mine thinks it is.  I just don't know.  I'm for people's being happy, but against the dishonesty of pretending bad poets (and I've since seen many bad poems at poetry.com) are good.  It might make some of the bad poets not take up something they're actually fairly good at instead of writing bad poems.  Similarly, maybe if no one bought vanity anthologies, their publishers might be forced to do something of much greater benefit to society.  

  --Bob G.







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